It's almost Towel Day, couldn't have a more appropriate title.

Sucks I won't have to spend it with somebody I cared for. Cared. Yeah. For some reason she finds me a "burden" and that she's become "cold-hearted" as of late.

I bust my ass out in the Business District for 6 days a week with unpaid overtime hours, and spend the remaining free time either sleeping, desperately trying to do something artistic, or pretending to be a member of the bourgeois class... scratch that, I spend my free time in a futile attempt to make extra money. That never get me nothing. The sideline folks think I should do it like some sort of hippy volunteer. It's like the world is taking advantage of my kindness, and when I try to do something that's worthwhile to *ME*, I get punished by divine elements. Bastards.

All I wanted was someone to come home to, give me a few encouraging words. Waking up next to her in the morning is one of the most beautiful experiences I've had in my short life.... and that stuff gets me going despite all the bullshit I've been going through.

And now that one's gone. I feel like one of those cancelled Interplay RPGs. So much effort for nothing.

What an awesome blow to my creativity, that. I have totally lost my will to draw. No more new pics. Hopefully not forever, but at the rate I'm going, I wouldn't hold my breath. Same as sleep. No sleep for the weary. Apparently in the "real world", I've realized, quality work does not equate to living like a living person. Zombies. That's what they're turning me, and the rest of this country. A bunch of sleepless, senseless, thoughtless "world-class" zombies. I guess it's better than being an impoverished human.

And, no, I'm not being Marxist here. I don't feel alienated with what I produce. I love my code as if they're my own kids. But to be forced to treat my kids like retrofitted undead warrior child-freaks... that just takes it for me.

That's it. I'm too disgusted with the universe to care about anything, and I'm too overworked to actually even despair. Fuck this real world shit. All I want is a nap. A nice long nap.

Good-bye.